The Let's Get Comfy Podcast
Hosted by Founder and CEO of Comfort Measures Consulting LLC, Norman Harris. The Official Healthcare Edutainment station. Empowering listeners with the knowledge and resources to age comfortably. The podcast platform will uniquely provide laughter, peace, joy, resources and most of all COMFORT. Fostering professional partnerships and engaging the audience by providing them access to a REAL family-like conversation. That gives them the REAL reasons. Connects them to REAL reliable resources. To get REAL results. For REAL Comfort! Through interviews with C-suite healthcare leaders, experts, caregivers, founders, authors, educators, and thought leaders who are doing incredible work for older adults, family caregivers, and the healthcare community.
The Let's Get Comfy Podcast
Leading Like Women: Courage, Care, Clarity
What changes when women stop asking to fit in and start leading on their own terms? We sat down with three powerhouse voices—a military leader and coach, an immigrant executive and leadership mentor, and a nonprofit director—to unpack how care, clarity, and courage can rewrite the rules at work, at home, and in the public square. The question “What if a woman were President?” becomes a springboard to explore real leadership: thinking through solutions before acting, holding boundaries without apology, and building teams where authenticity drives results.
We dig into the double bind many women face—tone down to be accepted or speak up and be mislabeled—and share the playbook that actually works. From navigating a male-dominated military to assimilating into American corporate culture, the stories are honest and specific: research your moves, integrate who you are with where you are, and let consistency do the talking. We talk legacy as practice, not pedestal: it’s how you climb, who you help, and the shade you plant for others. Expect candid takes on contraception autonomy, a little humor about driving and razors, and a reminder that joy is a leadership resource, not a distraction.
Dating while ambitious brings fresh honesty. Should you hide your wins? The panel pushes back with alignment over approval: be fully yourself and let the wrong matches filter out. Boundaries aren’t drama; they are quality control. We close with resilience—deployments, divorce, culture shock—and the power of support systems that keep you moving when the clouds gather. If you’re building a career, guarding your energy, or redefining what leadership can look like, this conversation offers tools, stories, and a gentle nudge to take up more space.
If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway—we’d love to hear what shifted for you.
Hi, my name is Michelle Hogan and I serve as the Director of Volunteer Services and Community Donations at Metropolitan Ministries. You can find me on LinkedIn or if you'd like to support me by volunteering or hosting a drive, you can go to our website, metromin.org under the ways to give tab.
SPEAKER_05:Hello, my name is Audrey D B and I'm originally from Ghana, West Africa. My journey has taken me through a career in long-term care, insurance, and operations. But at the heart of everything I do, I'm very passionate about helping people grow. That passion has led me to be a certified Maxwell Leadership team member. And today I get to do what I love most creating spaces. Find me on LinkedIn with Audrey D'Beek.
SPEAKER_04:Hello everyone, my name is Kay Sanchez, and I'm a full-time soldier. I'm a mentor, a speaker, and a leader, and I'm also the director of Win Women Impact Network. You can find me on LinkedIn under Kay Sanchez and tune in for the podcast.
SPEAKER_03:Welcome and thank you for joining the first annual CMC Media and Advocacy Women's Panel. I'm your host, Michelle Hogan, and tonight I'm joined by Audrey D'Abeek and Kaith Sanchez. Ladies, why did we join a podcast called If a Woman Was President? Audrey, I'll start with you.
SPEAKER_05:Well, hello, and thank you for making me a part of this podcast. I am so honored to be seated here with really accomplished women who inspire me. I must say that first of all, I joined because I was asked to. But honestly, honestly, I thought that was a very intriguing question. And I laughed at the same time, right? Not because I think it's far-fetched, but it's because I have seen women lead and I've seen the results. It stands out to me, my mother, who um I think led beautifully under the circumstances that she was under. She raised five kids with my dad. I call him very interesting and challenging. And she did so beautifully with passion and purpose. So when I got this, I was like, I want to be part of this conversation, and I want to learn also at the same time. So very excited to be here. So let's begin.
SPEAKER_03:When we think about women in all of our regular lives, we are always leading. Women are natural leaders. So it's unfortunate that this even has to be a question. Keith, what do you think?
SPEAKER_04:Well, as someone who's has been in male-dominated worlds uh since I joined the military back in 2001, I can tell you that um, so this is not, and I just want to say this because, you know, there's always like man versus woman, and to me, it's not like that. Like I'm not, you know, women can do things better. It's not, it's not about that. It's just that the fact that, you know, we do things differently. We we don't focus on the same things um men focus on. We lead from emotion, but we also lead from here, right? We we think about all the solutions before we take initiative to do things, right? For instance, me, I I've been in the military 24 years, and I can tell you that when I joined, I I researched it, I knew what I wanted, I knew what kind of job I wanted. When I went into that office, I knew exactly what I was gonna do, right? I wasn't, I didn't do it because it was an impulse. I researched it. And everything I have accomplished in the military, in in my career, in my business as well, has been from me doing my research, right? Uh, and even when I have my business, I have my gym. Um, I researched it. Now you and then I knew having a gym was challenging and it was difficult. And I was like, I want that. I want the challenge because I know that I'm gonna learn and I know that I'm going to take something from it. Even if I'm not successful, I know that whatever I learn from that challenge is going to take me to the next level. So I want it. So I think that we just do things differently. So I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, I'm honored to be here. I appreciate the invite and I can wait. This is gonna be amazing.
SPEAKER_03:So I'm so looking forward to hearing how you respond to the others' questions. Do you feel that as women, you sometimes have to choose between ambition and authenticity to be taken seriously in leadership? I think that question can mean a lot of different things. I think to somehow, well, sometimes as women, we are kind of told that we have to curb our authenticity a bit to be ambitious, to be successful with our ambition, maybe making ourselves smaller or suppressing certain parts of our personality to be taken seriously. But then I also think about how sometimes we're told that to be authentically women is to be only caretakers, and that ambition doesn't play a role in that. So, what does that question mean to you to choose between ambition and on and authenticity? And do you think that that is a decision we have to choose between?
SPEAKER_04:Well, I'm gonna take this one first, and I can tell you that um it has been the story of my life. Um it is, I would like to say no, that we're in you know 2025 and it's basically equal, but it's not. And a lot of times uh I do have to, you know, I can't be my myself 100% when I'm in uniform, right? Um, even when I was at the gym as a female gym owner in a male-dominated world, right? Um I didn't feel like I could be 100% myself because um it was taken either by you know, some people thought I was either flirting or being too nice or you know, being too friendly, or whatever the case may be. Or even some of my um employees, you know, thought I was they didn't have to listen to me because I was a woman. And I wish I could say things differently, right? Because like I said, I I really don't think that it's everybody, but I think that some people, you know, do have some um problems with women telling them what to do when it comes to an authority image, right? And being a holistic coach myself, I have to say that a lot of that stems from trauma, right? Which I'm not gonna touch very deep into that because it's not what we're talking about. But but um I lived it through my whole military career and I experienced it in my gym, and I experienced it even doing real estate because I've been doing real estate as an investor for a long time as well. Um, even doing business in real estate. I experienced it. I hope that one day we get to a point where we don't have to see that and we can authentically be ourselves because that's what I coach. I teach people how to be yourself, but sometimes it's really hard to be yourself because yourself is not accepted.
SPEAKER_02:So hello, I'm Norman Harris, owner and CEO of Comfort Measures Consulting. We are a healthcare resource platform that specializes in business development for independently privately owned healthcare organizations. Let's partner together to support your business growth through strategic digital marketing and community engagement. You can DM us, call us, text me, I'm here for you. We're ready to serve you. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03:That reminds me of a time where I was teaching a public speaking class, and the gentleman that invited me to be there asked for his group, what advice can you give to the women here so that they know how to speak to groups to, you know, not be seen as a certain way? And I think he came from an honest place where many of his staff are women and have faced challenges where they felt like, well, I have to speak a certain way so that I don't come across as offensive or negative or be taken in the wrong way. And my answer was, I cannot answer that for you. That doesn't exist. That answer doesn't exist. There's always going to be different opinions of us as women, and we can't please everyone. We can only be ourselves. And that's really more a question for you that may have double standards for women and how we are allowed to move and speak in the rooms that we go into.
SPEAKER_05:I couldn't agree with you uh more, you know. Um this is um a very profound question that authentic authenticity and an ambition, you know, how does it go? I don't know if I mentioned it, but I'm originally from Ghana, uh, West Africa, and I moved to the States, right? And um needless to say, socially, culturally, spiritually, every leap that you can think about, we are vastly different, right? So you get into this new country and you need to assimilate, right? Um, not an easy thing to do, I must say. So you are working in the corporate world and and you're asking yourself that can you show up authentically? Right? Can you bring your whole self to work and will they take you seriously? Because first of all, um, I might say, you know, understanding who you are is probably not of interest to anyone, right? Because you are the only person from this place, right? So it took me a while to, I think, to to agree with you. First, you shut down who you are because you're not sure how people are gonna take you. Um, you know, are they ready to even accept who you are, right? So you shut down part of yourself to be able to assimilate and and almost fit in. But later on in my career, I realize that true leadership comes from a place of authenticity. So, what do you do with that? I have to show up with everything that I've known in my past and everything that I've learned over here. And together, I can lead well successfully when I show up whole. So it's been a journey, I must say. Initially, no. Right now, yes. I know that you have to show up authentically in order for you to lead with passion and purpose.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. Beautiful answer, Audrey. When you think about all that you have done now and all that you're working to do, what are some of your driving motivators for your success? And don't answer that out loud. I'm just curious, is one of your driving motivators leaving behind a legacy? If it's not, what are some of your driving motivators? If it is, if leaving a legacy is one of the reasons why you do what you do, maybe share some advice with someone that is new or young in their own career and wanting to know about how to leave a legacy.
SPEAKER_04:So obviously for me is God first, then family, and and you know, and then myself. But besides that, I want to be remembered as someone who cares. That to me is the biggest thing. I'm someone that actually wants to make a difference, someone that cares, someone that does things with passion, but also, and I get really like emotional because my whole life, my even my whole career was changed by people that care. People that actually care about me, my well-being, me being successful. Um they care. So they made a difference and they made an impact. And those people that I'm always gonna remember and I'm always gonna think about, even through the years. You know, I'm like, oh, I remember this one lady. You know, she was an EA and she helped me through the military. And she told me little things that until now I remember, and I pass along to other women, right? I just want to be remembered as someone that actually cared, someone that actually made a difference, and someone that was just being herself, whatever that might look like for everybody, was just being myself, yeah.
SPEAKER_05:So yeah, Kathy, good, very good answer here. From leadership is caring, right? And it goes a long way. So when you talk about what advice do you have to give to young people, um we know that the terrain has changed so much, right? I remember growing up and getting through corporate and all of that stuff. It took you forever to climb that ladder, whatever that ladder is, right? But I don't know that the young people these days understand that they want to climb up so quickly, right? So my thing is it's not about climbing, it's how you climb, right? How do you do that? Because that is what your legacy is, right? So you my advice to people is that you have to be able to understand what you're doing with clarity and purpose and passion for that impact to happen, right? So when we are going through a day-to-day, I think as Kathy said, she had an experience where somebody impacted her life, right? So, how do you do that? And as the saying goes, like somebody planted that tree so today I can sit in the shade. So, what am I doing with my platform? What am I doing with the life that I've been given and the skills and the talents and all of that stuff, right? So for me, yes, legacy is important. So to my young people, I say, you know, have clarity in what it is that you're doing and make sure that whatever you're doing leaves that lasting impact after you. Um, and that's where I think impact happens. So that's what I think. It's time to switch gears a little bit. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:We've had a lot of beautiful, serious answers, and I think we need to have a little bit of fun. Let's do it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it's getting comfortable over here.
SPEAKER_03:If you were a president today and you could make your own law, what would the first law be? Non-serious answers only.
SPEAKER_04:Um, I have so many. Like honestly, to me, it would be like the law of women driving however the hell they want to drive. I'm tired of this, like, oh, it has to be a woman. Oh my god. You know, you get in an accident, it's like it's probably a woman. I'm like, I'm so tired of it. Even like, even my friends are like, oh, you gotta do whatever, a nail or whatever, like a flat tire. Oh, that's probably because you were driving crazy. I'm like, done. I'm done with that. I would literally make it like let women drive however they want to drive. Period.
SPEAKER_03:Women are good at multitasking. I may or may not sometimes drive with my knees, so I can use my hands. Probably do makeup or something else.
SPEAKER_05:Talking about multitasking, we do it like pros. Oh my gosh. Yes, we are all over the place. But you know, this is something that probably is serious, but not serious. So don't take me serious, okay? But this whole thing about trying to restrict contraception and stuff like that, in my opinion, if I was president, let it flow. Let it flow. Because we know, listen, I have I have a child, I love my child, but I'll tell you what, if he came earlier than he did in my 30s, that would have been a big problem. So, in my opinion, that probably will be the first one I'll do.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. If I had to say something, you know what? I'm tired of shaving. I don't want to shave anymore. We don't need to shave anymore. No women's razors made again. Let's do it. When we're doing this today. Throw your razors away when you get home. You don't need them anymore.
SPEAKER_01:At Comfort Measures Consulting, we're here to help you navigate the complexity of healthcare. If you're caring for a loved one as a caregiver, you don't have resources, you don't know what questions to ask, you need to have options, right? Give Comfort Measures a call. Give us a chance. First consultation is free. Speak with me, Comfort Measures Consultant, 850-879-2182. You can also visit our website at www.comfortmeasures consultant.com. Talk to you soon.
SPEAKER_03:So let's talk about dating. I don't know if you ladies are single or if you could draw upon the times when you were. Do you feel like it was hard or is hard to date while at the same time having any sort of career aspirations? I can say for me, I am single. I do peruse an app a time or two. And I feel like I want to leave off any of my credentials. I don't want to put that I have a master's. I don't want to say that I'm a director. I want to just say, I work at a nonprofit and kind of make it small. Not that I think it's right, and not that I want to necessarily attract someone that wouldn't want me to be successful. I've just heard many male podcasts say they're not looking for a successful woman. That's not an appealing trait. And I've also heard guys say that when their woman was more successful than them, it made them so insecure that they had to do things to make themselves feel better. And that has scarred me for years. So I don't know if that's just me. Do you guys feel the same? How's it been for you?
SPEAKER_04:You can take this one.
SPEAKER_05:Well, no judgment here. Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Just don't judge me.
SPEAKER_05:The word dating. Listen. It to me, for now, I would say is non-existent. Okay. So no judgment, no judgment. And it's I know, I know. But it's just been a crazy world out there, I must say. Unable to connect. The alignment is not there. Like you're not aligned. And talking about, and listen, I applaud people who have the courage to go on the dating apps because that's one thing that I'm so terrified about. You know, so I don't, but I sit back and I listen to all the juicy stories that I wish I did. But I just don't have the courage to do that, right? So that limits me to either you're gonna have, you know, people that will introduce you to people or you meet them at common places like workplaces. But now I'm virtual. So the dating world to me sucks.
SPEAKER_03:So what you're saying is when we're done with this, we're gonna set you up a dating app.
SPEAKER_05:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03:Michelle, let's look at all of your photos, we'll get all the right problems on there.
SPEAKER_04:Interesting.
SPEAKER_05:Well, let's do that.
SPEAKER_04:For me, uh I have to say that I have my um, I have a whole bunch of stories, of uh dating stories. We can probably do a podcast with all of them. Um, but I can tell you that I dated a lot. I dated many different personalities. Currently, I have a partner, he's amazing, and I'm glad what I can tell you is this. I always used to say to men, which people thought it was scaring them away, but to me it's like I want to scare you away right away. Because if you're not for me, you're not for me. I'm not for everybody, and I'm okay with that. My energy is not for everyone. And I always say, if I'm too much, go find less. Because that's literally what they do sometimes, right? So the man that I have right now, he's amazing. He is not afraid of my power because he knows I'm very powerful when it comes to me being talkative and being opinated, and you know, sometimes talking back and having my own opinions and my personality. And but I always think that if you are a woman in business and you want to grow and you want to be amazing and successful and you want to influence people, you can be small. There's no way you can be small. And therefore, you need a man that's as big as you. You can just have anybody. I mean, you could just be anybody, but you don't want that, right? You want someone that's gonna be there with you, someone that's gonna, you know, um support you and understand you, and maybe not not really understand exactly what you're doing 100%, but he's gonna be like, you know what, I don't get what you do in this, but I got you. I'm right there with you. And that's who I have right now. But before, it was just like you're saying, like it was either, you know, oh yeah, you're in the military, you have a master's, you do this, you do that, you do too, you do too much. Or everything was fine if I was quiet, but when I spoke up or when I say something that they didn't like, it was like, well, now you, you know, now you're drama. Now you you now you're toxic. And sometimes men do label women as toxic because they opinionated or because they have different points of views, and that's not necessarily true. Like, you know, like uh no, it's just because I don't let you walk all over me or push me over or oh, I have boundaries, and that's weird for you because you never had that. Well, I'm sorry, I'm not like everybody else. So I feel, and this is just my nobody asked me for my opinion, but here I am giving my opinion. I think that it's really important also to understand that as a woman, you can be all this, but when you have your man, you have to be a woman, right? You have to be the woman, you have to have the feminine energy, you can be the masculine. You can be the masculine at your business and at your job and not what you're doing, but in a relationship, and this is just what I learned, and I'm not an expert, I'm not here to give anybody the advice. This is what's work for me. You have to understand the men want to lead, and women have to have the feminine energy in the relationship. So once I was able to master that, I was able to honestly find the person that I'm with right now, and it has been amazing, and I hope that we're together forever.
SPEAKER_03:Important question. Yes, does your man have a brother or two? He does. I like that.
SPEAKER_05:I got to, but you know, let me piggyback on what um Kat said, you know. I think it all boils down to alignment, right? And and maturity.
SPEAKER_04:Emotional maturity, right?
SPEAKER_05:Emotional intelligence, all of that, right? Because without that, you're either still dating the young lad, or it is the young lady who never grew up. It's both ways, right? So I think that um sitting here at this time in my life, um, and you said it right, you said, you're not for everybody, and that's okay, right? You don't have to, we don't have to be in a relationship if we don't, we are not aligned. So for me, bottom line is finding that alignment. We can have the same interests, but we might not be aligned, and that is important. So, you know, I I couldn't agree with you more.
SPEAKER_03:I think that alignment is sometimes hard when I feel like boys and girls that eventually become men and women, we are told that we're supposed to want different things and that different things are considered acceptable or not acceptable. So we're kind of not really aligned from the beginning, but then we're expected to merge together as adults and still be aligned. And sometimes it feels like I'm trying to align myself with the enemy. You know, like if you've been told, if you've grown up your whole life being told that um, if you get a bunch of women, you're the man. And I'm over here trying to convince you to just only want me. I feel like I'm no, you don't have to. You don't have to, and I don't, right?
SPEAKER_04:This is where my my my you know, my emotion and my coaching part comes out because I'm like, you're trying to still be something for someone, just be yourself, be a hundred percent you. How many million, billions of people are in the world you think you can't find someone, or someone can't find you, you will. You, but you have to be 100% yourself. So you first have to choose yourself 100%, genuinely 100% with no changes, right? This is me, this is who I am, and with all my flaws, I choose me 100%. So that the person that's meant to be with you can choose you. And trust me, they're out there. But if you're trying to, even when you you avoid putting your masters, all that stuff, you're minimize in yourself to be someone likable for someone else. Yeah, be yourself. You are too much, and you're beautiful and amazing. Yeah, be that beautiful, amazing person that you are for everyone who can't take it, doesn't need to be with you.
SPEAKER_03:And that's why I'm single, because I can't keep it up. I have to be me. And eventually I get just like so resentful from trying to keep myself so small when I'm not small. 100% and respect that I will just continue to be single for as long as I have to until I find the right one. And I always say if being straight was a choice, I wouldn't choose to be straight. But it's like let me tell you something.
SPEAKER_04:I have a lot of gay friends that are not doing any better. So let me, it's not it's not a women-men situation. I have a lot of gay friends and they're not doing any better when it comes to dating. So it's just it's a it's a it's a people thing, I think. Um, and she said it right, it's alignment. And then when you're on a line, and and also you have to remember, right? We are diff living different lives, and all of us are different levels, right? So you might be here living your life and you feel fulfilled, but then you meet a guy that's not there yet. And men need to be fulfilled and they need to feel like the provider to be able to be in a relationship. So they don't marry the best choice, they marry who's ever there, available when they're ready to marry, right? They never marry you because they're ready to marry. They're very, they they give they marry you because they're ready and they know that they're getting older and then they have everything they want, and then you you're there, you're in a relationship with them, and you're available. Because sometimes it's happened to me. I'm like, I can't believe you marry that girl, and uh, like here I am. Like, what's wrong with me? And there's nothing wrong with me. It's just that he wasn't ready to marry me when I was with him, and it's okay. Then again, you're not for everyone, and you're not gonna be in the same path, and you're not gonna be in the same alignment, and it's okay. And when I teach my coaching, I teach alignment also in business and in and at work because sometimes we're not aligned with work. Like right now, I retire in two years, and I can wait to retire. And I love the military and I'm excited and so happy that I get to retire in two years because the military is not me anymore. So you're allowed to change, right? And you're allowed to evolve and be different. So just this beautiful, amazing girl that is eventually gonna find somebody. Oh, somebody's gonna find you. You never know. Because when I he found my man, actually, my man found me. And the way he found me was just crazy. I'm never in a million years I would have thought that he he reached out to me because I was a recruiter, and I kind of put him on the back burner. I just helped him out. I said, Yeah, I'll help you. And I helped him, and then four years later, we started. So it was it wasn't right away either. So sometimes it's not right away. You're not alignment, right? You're not in the same place, you're not in the, you know, an alignment, and then God will get to an alignment, and then you will come back around. So just remember that.
SPEAKER_05:And you know, um, I will add a little bit to it, right? I think that for women, we have to be at a point where we are okay with ourselves and love ourselves and love our company. Singleness is a great place to be. And I can speak for myself and maybe a few people that I know who are single because I think uh achievement when you are by yourself actually also happens and you're so focused. I'm not saying, please, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that when you're in a relationship, you can't stay focused. But for some people, the distraction is just pronounced because you're with someone, so you're trying to be everything and everybody as women do, right? And so singleness is also a season in your life where I feel like you can back on a whole lot, you know. So I think that we have to get to a place where we are okay with being that. So we are not minimizing to fit somebody or you know, for somebody to like me or whatever the case may be, right? Be yourself, and again, we are not for everybody. So if if we don't match. That's okay. That's okay.
SPEAKER_03:One thing that makes me so optimistic about the younger generation now is how often women are normalizing this idea of decentralizing men. And I think that is important. Growing up here in a country based on patriarchy, we as women are raised up to look for our Prince Charming. And so so much of our life is aspiring to be married one day. And it is distracting. And it does put many women in spaces where we are minimizing ourselves or putting our career aspirations aside, you know, for marriage one day. But we're getting away from that. And I think it's beautiful. Women are more educated than they've ever been before. We are representing ourselves in the career place more than we ever have before. We're having smaller families. We're doing so much more. And we're getting closer and closer to us being president for real one day.
SPEAKER_00:Hi, friends. Jennifer Rennings here, the heart behind the Call Light Collective. And I've been teasing this podcast for several weeks, months even. I have desired to create a safe place for all of us to come as we are and to talk about what really is going on. The real, the honest, the raw. And I want you to help say this. Do you have a story that you've just been dying to tell? Have you learned a truth or a lesson that you think needs to be shared? Are you navigating a struggle? Do you want feedback on a particular situation? Or do you just want to know that you're not alive? We all have these moments in these thoughts. So go ahead and email me at comfortmeasures24 at gmail.com. Please make sure to include a phone number, your full name, and any social media handles that we need to know about. I cannot wait to hear from you. Together, we're just walking each other home one conversation at a time. All my love, all my life, this is the call-like.
SPEAKER_03:The last question of the night has got nothing to do with men, just about us. Was there a time in your journey where it seemed like everything was working against you? How did you find your strength to keep going?
SPEAKER_04:You always look at her. I had nothing to do with the military. I I was the one that walked away when I saw the recruiters in in the high school. You know, serving was actually, and this is this is a true story. When September 11 happened, I used to work in New York. I was a bartender in New York, and I used to make really decent money as an 18-year-old because you can serve at 18. And um, and then I went from making decent money to making no money at all because people were afraid to go to New York, right? And that recruiter was trying to talk to me for the for a couple weeks, and I said, this is the time I need to do something. You know, it's like I'm here, I'm in this country, I need to make a difference, and I'm gonna serve. When I joined, I was like, this is too much. This is this is too much for me. This is, you know, out of my comfort zone, out of my out of my norm, and never did a push-up in my life. It was just too much. And I remember a lot of times me calling my mom saying, Mom, I I don't, I don't think I can make it. I don't want to do this. Like I have dirt in my nails. I, you know, I can't do my, I can't do my hair. I can't do my, you know, I can't do this. I'm my girl here. My mom was like, well, you know, as as a as a mom, they were supportive. If, well, if you want to quit and you want to go home, it's okay. I got you here. And I remember me walking back to, you know, to to my barracks and saying, no, I'm not gonna quit. Mama didn't raise no bitch. I'm like, I'm gonna do this to the end and I'm going to succeed, and I'm gonna, I was like, I don't, I never thought I was gonna do 20 years or more, to be honest with you. I thought I was gonna do four years and get a house. I said, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do four years. This is what I signed up for. I'm gonna go to school, I'm gonna do exactly everything that I wanted to do. Because when I walked to the recruiter's office, I was like, I want to join, I want to support, I want to help, and I want to go to school and I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna get my bachelor's and I'm gonna, I'm gonna do everything I want to do in those four years. And then obviously I said how the plans and you know, I try to get out. I always say this funny story, but it's true. I wanted to get I wanted to get out three times out of the military, and they never let me. The first time they stopped, lost me and deployed me to my rank. The second time I wanted to resign, they were like, we're gonna promote you. And then the third time they were like, no, we're gonna transfer you and give you another promotion, and you're gonna be the first woman to ever serve in a special operations unit. That is amazing. That is, you know, you're a trouble placer and you're gonna make make a difference. And I said, Great, I'm not gonna know. I'm gonna do it one more time. So I always say that my inspiration was me. Me. What legacy do I want to leave? Who do I want to be? Do I want to be remember with someone that quit or someone that actually pushed even through fears and through problems and different circumstances? Because I'm gonna tell you 100% with all honesty that being a female in the military is not easy. It's not easy, but it it is the number one reason why I am who I am today, and it's the number one reason why I want to make life easier for all the women in the military. Number one reason why I was a recruiter for five years, and I helped every woman, and I only recruited five in five years. So I recruited one a year as a recruiter in the military. All men, most of the time, right? And I will and I will tell them. And the reality is men don't hate me, please. But the reality is that women have the power to be more successful in the military than men, because we do things way different than men do. Men have impulsive, they do things in a different way, they don't think sometimes when they do things, so they get in trouble faster than women. But it is a little harder for us to advance when it comes to rank, just because the the good old boy club and you know, the good old uh, you know, you help me, I help you, and we're not part of it, right? Even by now, where I'm at, I still experience sexism, but it's okay because I know that everything happens for a reason and there's a place for everything. And I'm also already getting to, like I said before, I'm getting to the point where I'm you know, I'm I'm uh seeing retirement, and I live my my legacy already in the military. So I I I accomplished everything I wanted to.
SPEAKER_03:Hoorah! Is that what you guys say?
SPEAKER_05:Well, first of all, I know you've spoken about your military background, so we want to thank you for your service. Um, I know that um, like you said, it takes a lot, and you guys are definitely defending uh freedom. So we definitely appreciate you guys. Adversity, is that what you say? When everything is going wrong, right? I would dare say that I've experienced more than one or two or three or four or five. Oh my god, it's um it's been a journey, I must say. And uh, for the sake of this podcast, I won't go into my whole life history, but I have been through a lot and I cannot, as they say, I don't look like what I've been through, but I am here today, and I was like, oh, thank you, Jesus. But if I should pick a few things for me to talk about. One, I talk about the fact that um moving here to the United States was one of the toughest things that I did. And as some people will listen to me and say, What are you talking about? This is the land that you want to be. And don't get me wrong, I love, love, love this land, right? It's giving me so many opportunities. But assimilating into the culture is definitely not an easy thing. Um, so I come from an English-speaking country, right? And so I thought, oh, I speak English, right? So I come in here and then you're working, and you know, you get to a meeting and you're saying stuff and totally crickets. You give an idea and it's crickets. Nobody says anything. Then the next person takes the same thing that you said, but I'll say in the American where everybody's like, oh, that's such a fantastic idea. You're sitting there like, did I not just say that? Like, who did not hear me say that, right? That alone is frustrating. It brings, I mean, it's so frustrating. It takes you a while before you can be taken serious. We did talk about being taken serious, right? Um, because their credentials are not as respected. So you're coming well educated and all of that stuff. But you know, it takes you a while for you to prove yourself that you are, you belong here. You can sit here, you can have these conversations, right? So, you know, it can be frustrating. And sometimes you I question myself, did I even make the right decision? Right. But like you said, you can't quit. What do you mean? You've come this far. And so, no, you can't. And that's what this says. Like, will you, everything you want is out of your comfort zone, right? So, and I've also learned that a lot of people quit before the success is coming. So, whoever is going through adversity, listen, clouds do pass, they just don't stay in one place. So, you got to hang on tight and just make sure that you understand your objective and keep going, right? Um, I'll also say that support. I went through, you know, divorce, all of that stuff, you know, being a single mom and all that, you know. Everybody has that, right? So, you know, I don't want to downplay it, but it still is a point in your life where things are not the same. But I'll tell you what, you can get through this, but you need a whole lot of support. And I was fortunate enough to have a sister, Jennifer. Everybody needs a Jennifer, okay? Everybody needs a Jennifer. I say it all the time. And I could not have done it without the support of my family being there, supporting me, picking me up. But as they say, you fall seven times, you get up eight times, okay? So you can't do it, but I never promise that it's gonna be easy. But you gotta keep going.
SPEAKER_03:So I think you acknowledging the fact that we need support and how much stronger we are with support is my favorite thing of everything that you just said. And with that being said, I'm so thankful to have had this opportunity to talk about everything with you guys. I think we've covered all the topics of the garden of being a woman from dating to careers, from adversity to success. This is what being a woman is all about. And the first annual media CMC Media and Advocacy women's panel. Best one yet.
Podcasts we love
Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.
