The Let's Get Comfy Podcast
Hosted by Founder and CEO of Comfort Measures Consulting LLC, Norman Harris. The Official Healthcare Edutainment station. Empowering listeners with the knowledge and resources to age comfortably. The podcast platform will uniquely provide laughter, peace, joy, resources and most of all COMFORT. Fostering professional partnerships and engaging the audience by providing them access to a REAL family-like conversation. That gives them the REAL reasons. Connects them to REAL reliable resources. To get REAL results. For REAL Comfort! Through interviews with C-suite healthcare leaders, experts, caregivers, founders, authors, educators, and thought leaders who are doing incredible work for older adults, family caregivers, and the healthcare community.
The Let's Get Comfy Podcast
Women Lead With Grit And Grace
What does it really take to lead when the room wasn’t built for you? We sit down with three women shaping healthcare and senior living—from a statewide association CEO to a dementia-focused executive director to a nurse development leader—to talk about standards, service, and the stories that forge resilient leadership. No slogans. Just the truth about being quizzed harder than male peers, showing up prepared, and choosing humility so others feel safe enough to ask for help.
We trace the throughline from immigrant grit and modest beginnings to single motherhood on Medicaid and Pell Grants, to long-term sobriety and rebuilding after unthinkable loss. Instead of wallowing, they moved—one step, then the next—and turned survival skills into a mentoring mindset. Their “toolbox” approach to influence is simple and generous: teach what you know, give context, protect relationships, and help new professionals choose the tools that fit their path. Along the way, we unpack why celebrating wins matters for high performers who were raised to always ask “what’s next,” and how pride, practiced thoughtfully, becomes a lesson we pass to our kids.
The conversation widens into a social vision rooted in empathy and practical support. Empathy reframes conflict and humanizes care across assisted living, dementia support, and nursing development. And safety nets? They should be launchpads, not lifelong cages—short-term scaffolding that lets people study, stabilize, and stand taller. There’s laughter too, with a community connector who turns LinkedIn pings into purpose, reminding us that opportunity loves follow-through.
If you’re building influence in a male-dominated space, mentoring the next generation, or trying to turn hardship into service, this one’s for you. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs the push, and leave a review with one practice you’ll adopt this week—what’s going in your leadership toolbox?
Hey there, I'm Bisho Wickley. I'm the CEO of the Florida Assisted Living Association, the state's oldest and largest association dedicated to the assisted living industry. My background is in post-acute care, palliative care, and geriatric primary care. I was born in Chicago, raised in Florida. I am the mother of three beautiful nearly grown children, and I am essentially dedicating my life to caring for our seniors.
SPEAKER_03:Hi, my name is Tammy Erickson, and I am a born and raised Tampa, Florida girl. I am also a certified dementia practitioner and a core certified executive director. I am the proud mother of five and grandmother of four. Also a proud member of several senior organizations, such as your Florida Health Care Association, Florida Senior Living Association, Florida Healthcare Association, the Aging Life Care Association, in addition to the Florida Assisted Living Association. I serve on several conference committees and hold several different board positions on each of those. And I am also proud to be part of the Mortalero Law Elder Law firm.
SPEAKER_04:Hi, I'm Jennifer Eddings. I'm a registered nurse, BSN, NPD BC. I am a nurse development manager, born in Washington, DC, raised in Memphis, Tennessee, and I've been a Floridian since 2013. Proud mother of four children, and I have a strong desire to uplift and support. You are welcome to follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok, as well as YouTube. And I am super proud to announce that I'll be the host of a new podcast called The Call Light Collective coming soon, fall 2025. Welcome and thank you for tuning in to the first annual CMC Media and Advocacy Women Panel. I'm your host, Jennifer Eddings, and I'm joined today by the beautiful Bijou Ickley as well as the beautiful Tammy Erickson. Now, ladies, tell me. Why did you decide to join the panel today called Why Women Should Be President?
SPEAKER_03:Because Norman Harris called me yesterday at 2.30 and asked me what I sit on the panel, and then sent me the questions at 2.30 a.m. So as I woke up and borrowed my husband's glasses to answer to review the questions. And then drove from Val Rico to Zephyr Hills at 9.45 on a Sunday morning. I am here to support anything that Norman Harris is involved in.
SPEAKER_04:That was probably the best side I have ever seen ever. All right, Bijou, how about you?
SPEAKER_02:Well, first of all, the name. I mean, come on. I I think we could all do with a woman president at some point. Um, I'd say that's number one. I'd say number two, I met Norman a little over a year ago. And um, you know, you can't say no to Norman. He's just such such an amazing guy, and he's persistent, and he's always in a good mood. And, you know, I mean, uh, Norman asked, and here I am. And here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are.
SPEAKER_04:I think I am just so thankful to be sitting here amongst both of you today. You are both just such powerful, beautiful, confident women. And I think that me as a mother of a young girl, I would absolutely love for her to be able to share space and time with you. And while that's not possible for everyone to get that time, this allows so many young women to be inspired. So I just wanted to thank you both for being here. Thank you for having us. Oh, so welcome. So welcome. So I'm gonna start with a question and we're just gonna we're just gonna roll with it, girls. All right, so the first question is Do you think society still subconsciously holds women leaders to a higher standard than men? And if so, how do you navigate that? Bijou, we'll go with you first.
SPEAKER_02:Well, I can tell you when I first started my career, um I actually started in financial sales. And that was a very male-dominated industry to work in. Incredibly. Um, and I can remember, you know, studying the guidelines and, you know, learning um, you know, front and back, you know, um that my trade. Um, and when I would talk to customers and clients, I would get quizzed backwards and forwards and left and right. And I had to get really, really good because I was questioned and I would sit next to my male coworker who would literally talk about the weather and the golf game and the football game and everything else, and absolutely zero questions and no expectations. And so for me as a woman, I think that uh what I learned is that you know, I I need to be um, I need to be an expert in whatever it is that I'm doing.
SPEAKER_04:That that is actually such great insight. As you started talking at the beginning, I was like, I wonder if her male like counterparts got the same questioning. And you answered it already beautifully. All right, so over to you, Tammy. How about you? Do you want to the question? Do you want me to repeat it or are you okay?
SPEAKER_03:No, I'm I'm good. Okay, good. I I think that um mine's a little bit different. I mean, I was raised by a single mom who always had to get up and perform and do what she did every day to take care of me. And um, I think that, and also myself as a single mom, I've always just equipped myself and educated myself to do more, to give more, to support more for my household. So, yes, there's always been that that male, that male drive that we have to be better than, but as Bijou said, it was easy for them to show up and talk about the game. We had to actually have that that intellect that that showed that we knew we were on our game and that we knew what we were doing for them to trust us, which I think is funny now that majority of the male-owned companies are ran by women.
SPEAKER_04:They sure are, and I love what you said. The males can show up and talk about the game. Women have to show up and be on our game. I think there's a lot of profound wisdom in that statement. It's pretty beautiful. Great insight from both of you. And I love how both of you live in different sectors of the healthcare industry, and we're all we all have different backgrounds and cult, different cultures, and different upbringings, and we're all from different traumas, but the insight is still like pretty close, which I think is very telling for women in the in in the industry we're in. So I appreciate that. So let me ask this next this next question rather. What strategies have you found most effective for building influence and credibility in a male-dominated industry?
SPEAKER_03:So I'm gonna say more than anything, it's lead by example and teach what you preach. You know, it's it's easy to show up and throw up, but it's another thing to actually lead by example, to show people how things are expected or how you want things done, how you expect your dynasty to grow. It's based on showing that you're willing to put in the work too, not just to say, hey, I expect you to go out and do this. I want, I want to show you how how we do this and how it works.
SPEAKER_04:I love that.
SPEAKER_03:I love that. How about you, Bijan?
SPEAKER_02:So um, I would say that, you know, it really takes doing the homework, um, having the passion for whatever it is that you're doing, respecting yourself, believing in yourself, um, and uh, you know, just uh performing to the highest um capability that you have.
SPEAKER_04:And the little space or the little time rather that we've had together, I loved when you said believing yourself because there's not a single doubt in my mind that either of you believe in yourself. And I don't know what your journey's been, but what I do love is that you've gotten to a space where you're like, I'm amazing, and I have no problem saying that. And that's really beautiful. And again, going back to being a mother of a daughter, I pray that one day she can feel the same. Because I don't know that it's that way for girls growing up right now, that they automatically have that belief. I feel like they have to not earn it, but they it takes a lot of work to start believing in that. So anyway, I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_02:And and I would say too, I think it's important that you're we're also humble about it and we're open to learning and growing. Yeah. Um, because you know, I think that's that's what keeps you moving forward. It's it's it's being open to learning and growing and you know, continuing that on your journey.
SPEAKER_03:So I think as women we have to. We owe it to ourselves, we owe it, as you said, to our children, that we are willing to always learn and to accept the fact that there's something you don't know that you can learn. And that's what keeps I and I've known Bij forever. I think that that's knowing us and knowing that we've got to stay that one step ahead and add more tools to our toolbox, if you will.
SPEAKER_04:Well, I love that. And I I think that one thing is the humility you both have. It it gives you a an approachability. There are other women that will feel comfortable coming to you and saying, Hey, how did you get where you're at? Like, I admire you for who you are and where you're at. Do you mind? Like, I'm a train wreck. Like, you just tell me like how not to be one, or at least how to pretend that I'm not and and build further in life. So I just appreciate the success you both have had, but the the humility and the humbleness that you still keep. Because if it weren't for that, it it would be almost closing you off to the generations that are coming in behind us that are are here to continue the work that you guys have already both been doing. So I appreciate that very, very much. All right, on to the next question. And I like this one so much, and I'm actually super excited to hear your answers. All right. So when you think about the legacy that you want to leave, I know, I know, I know. What is the personal ritual or habit you practice that you hope will become a blueprint for the next generation of women in your family or even in your community? And we're gonna no, we're starting with you, sister. Sorry.
SPEAKER_03:So I actually called my daughters to discuss this question. What did I give to you? What gift do you feel like I instilled in you? And my 19-year-old responded, although I think you call it voluntold, um, it was the gift of service that you've always taught us to give back. So I think if you hear in my journey, just of who I am, I've always wanted to serve. I always want to educate. That is something that I hold near and dear. Even my my grown boys, I mean, um, they have been voluntold their whole lives. So it's it's the gift of service, it's the gift of giving back, it's the gift of sharing with others. Um, and and even in that, I will lead into talking about gifts of the younger generation coming into our industry. Um, I love to cradle a baby, if you will, somebody fresh out of college or fresh into the industry. I want to give them my toolbox. I want them to know how I started this journey, even with Fala, uh, the Florida Assistant Living Association. I I was a member of that 20 years ago. Um, and teaching them how and how to build and how not to burn bridges and how to respect the people that have been in the industry. And then I I employ them to go out or or encourage them to go out and meet with other people that they respect and go get their toolbox and pick the best tools that work for them. So I I think it's it's um sharing, if I've if I've not kind of convoluted the answer.
SPEAKER_04:Um not even close.
SPEAKER_03:Service, but also education and giving people the tools to succeed in whatever it is that they want to do.
SPEAKER_04:I'm gonna go a little off script because my mind wants to know what's what what sparked that match for you to want to do that for the the people coming in behind you, or even wanting to what made that be what you wanted to leave to your babies?
SPEAKER_03:Well, for my girls, it's important being a single mom as much as I absolutely love my husband, we're women and we're moms, and we want them to be able to succeed when there's not somebody to fall back on. I've been very blessed. I had a strong mother who never who told me I could never fail. There was nothing I could do in her eyes that would ever be wrong. Nothing. And I'm blessed to have that. I needed to instill that in my girls. Um people who know me personally know that I've I've I've had a journey. I've had a an interesting journey, and that which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. So, how do you equip, how do you, how do you um armor yourself, if you will, to to protect yourself from all the things that society will bring to you? So, how do I help those that are growing up be stronger?
SPEAKER_04:I love that. And I I think I talk a lot about society and and social media in particular, and how we are conditioned to um judge our own blooper reels by somebody else's highlight reels, right? So I'm just curious, what flames did you walk through? Because I feel like there's a story that I feel like most people could look at you and very easily assume that life has been so kind and so easy. And I'm just, I just think that there are people that need to hear when they look at you, they need to know what you've crawled through.
SPEAKER_03:Um there's been a couple. I mean, there there's been things. I mean, but to know I've been a single mom since I was 23 with three little boys. That's trying to journey. I was navigating nursing school on Medicaid and food stamps and a Pell Grant. I mean, I had a journey and got blackballed. Um unfortunately, um my my nursing career was blackballed, and I left nursing school and was sitting as a single mom with three little boys. What do you do?
SPEAKER_04:What do you do?
SPEAKER_03:You dust yourself off and you get up because you got you got kids to support. You can't lay in waller in self-pity. That gets you nowhere. Yeah. So, you know, there's that, and um I am happily, happily, wonderfully married to my high school sweetheart, who I love, my God, more than life itself. And uh we are thankfully 21 years, 22 years this month, clean and sober. Congratulations. During his rehab and treatment, I was delivering a stillborn at the hospital while he was going into rehab. Here I am, a single one with three kids trying to, and what do you have to do? You can't lay down in Waller and self-pity. You gotta get up and move because you've got a house to support. You've got kids. There's not time to lay and think, whoa, is me, which is easy to do. But it's it's what you do next, it's how you move forward that makes you who you are. So I am 25 years happily married with five beautiful blessed children and blessed to have the career that I have, but it's because I didn't roll in a ditch and lay down and say, Woe is me. Sorry, ladies, that the government will take care of me. No, yeah, no, I can do this. Yeah. And also, once again, I had a strong mother who said, No, here we go, let's go. There's not time to lay down and think. It's get up and go and move.
SPEAKER_04:And it sounds like you've paid that forward to your own babies.
SPEAKER_03:I have, I think. I I would love to think that all five of them respect who I am and and and see the fight and the journey that I did to provide and to be who I am for them.
SPEAKER_04:Outside looking in, I can tell you just listening to you today, they they see it and they feel it because of what you told me about. They were the ones that said, This is what you gave us, this is what you left for us. And I just to pivot over to Bijou real quick, hearing you say, like, we don't have time to waller in self-pity. No, that echoes to some things I heard you saying earlier prior to cameras rolling about we're not here to complain. We don't have time for that. So do you mind? And I know that we took a little bit here, but do you mind just kind of pivoting off of that? And with the same question, I can re ask it if you want me to. But I I think that you probably are ready to go.
SPEAKER_02:Well, how do you follow that? I don't know, but it's okay to be able to do that. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. And I think that's beautiful. Um, and I think you said something very interesting. You said people often will look at a person and think that they've had an easy journey and that, you know, um, that their life is just a cakewalk. And I think one thing people don't know about me is that I'm actually both of my parents are immigrants. Um, and we grew up with very modest um, you know, surroundings. Yeah. Um, and it was a journey, and we all had to work really hard. And um, we had to kind of fight through um, you know, the self-doubt and the, you know, whatever, um, when you're uh of certain ethnicity, sometimes people look at you a certain way, and so you always know you have to work harder. Um, and I think for me, one of the most powerful things um and a legacy that I would like my children to carry forward is knowing that if you work hard, you can achieve anything that you want to achieve. You know, I think that's that's certainly extremely, extremely important. It's that um, you know, Tammy, you said we don't lay down and and waller in self-pity. Um I think life never really turns out exactly the way you think it's going to. And um success really comes from what you do next, you know. So it's human to stop and to say, oh no, you know, this is awful. But you have to pick yourself back up and look around and say, okay, well, what can I do from here? Um, and so for me, you know, I think um my family is is a legacy. I think I try to be a very kind person. I try to help those that are around me. Um, and uh it always touches me when someone reaches out that I haven't talked to in a very long time and says, you know, I did this because of something you said. Or I remember, you know, when uh 10 years ago you said X, Y, Z, and that really stuck with me and that inspired me. And half the time I don't even remember, you know, that conversation. And I'm just like, it, it, it really touches me to think that I have the ability to make positive influence, have a positive influence on somebody else's life and somebody else's journey. And I think that that's that's really what I'd like to do. I would like uh to be remembered um in a way uh that that is positive, that I did do good things and um that it all did mean something.
SPEAKER_04:So you have my brain kind of firing on a few different cylinders right now, but um you isn't it beautiful, like unintentionally, just in your normal day, everyday conversation, the walk you live, whatever, inspired someone that years later they're like, Hey, you said this and it impacted me so greatly. And I think that's just another reminder to be authentically ourselves every day. Not everybody's gonna like us. I'm sure you can probably list a two, one or two or twelve that may have never been big fans of yours. But the impact you're making on the ones that see you for who you are is literally just it, it's impossible to even describe. And then even hearing you, your journey is something I'm not familiar with. My parents were not immigrants, and that's not something I've ever really thought much about, to be very honest. And earlier I made a comment to you prior to filming that now I'm almost, almost regretting, or at least want to acknowledge, I sank because you're beautiful. And I said you remind me of a porcelain doll. And now I'm like, wait, was that insensitive? Because absolutely not. Okay, because my intention was so good, but you sharing your journey and your story about that, it keeps me mindful of the words I share.
SPEAKER_03:Let's just say that goes back to what we were talking about. You know, Biju says being an immigrant, people assume, and looking at me, people assume that that my life was just handed to me. Of course. And it's not, you don't know what somebody's journey has been.
SPEAKER_04:No one could have ever thought you were giving birth to it as stillborn while your husband was in rehab. That could have crippled and destroyed and ended somewhat. And that which doesn't kill us can only make us stronger. And that is what you've done with it. And I hope you're so proud. Both of you. Both of you, so proud. Cheers.
SPEAKER_00:Hello, I'm Norman Harris, owner and CEO of Comfort Measures Consulting. We are a healthcare resource platform that specializes in business development for independently privately owned healthcare organizations that's partnered together to support your business growth through strategic digital marketing and community engagement. You can DM us, call us, text me, I'm here for you. I'm ready to serve you.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, both of you, I cannot thank you enough for the vulnerability you've shared here today. I'm not so sure any of us were expecting where we went, but I think it's a beautiful um reminder of when you get honest, authentic, genuine women together, that in a space that's provided that safety, that you can really just kind of unleash and share. Oh, not unshare, but unleash and unravel and unpack some of what makes us who we are. That maybe we don't always tell the world for all the other reasons. However, I think it's time to keep it up, kick it up a notch a little bit. So I just have a question. It's burning on my mind. How'd y'all meet that bald head Norman? I'm just curious because I don't know how to get him. I'm not sure. But I didn't know how y'all meet him. I didn't know. I need to know.
SPEAKER_03:Um he knows, and I'll give him a hard time because I bust his chunky all the time. He showed up for a bit late. That's weird.
SPEAKER_04:That's weird, but go ahead. Continue.
SPEAKER_03:Anyway, he showed up. But it wasn't that he was late, it was the follow-up. It was the calling me, let's set up a time, let me get to know you. Um, so it was at a networking event, uh, probably a follow meeting, um, because he's so good at making his rounds. But yeah, we met through networking. I love that. Then I I think that somewhere along the lines, there just became this friendship, this this relationship that he knew if he needed or if he wanted, that either one of us could pick up the phone and call and say, Hey, I need XYZ.
SPEAKER_04:I love it. So I love it. How about you, Bij?
SPEAKER_02:Well, it's interesting. So Norman actually reached out to me on LinkedIn. Um, and it was uh shortly after I started as the CEO with Fala, and um he said, Hey, can I pick your brain? And you know, for me, I you know, I I try to be open and I try to help people as much as I can. And if I um, you know, if somebody reaches out and says, you know, I'm a Fala member, I'm a prospective member, can I pick your brain? I mean, that's you know, I like I said, part of the legacy I'd like to leave is to be um to be a resource and to help people on their journeys. And so we scheduled a Zoom and it was like a couple hours Zoom on a weekend. And he was throwing his all his crazy new ideas at me, and I was giving him my opinion, and then he was like, This is amazing. And I was like, Well, I think you're amazing and you're on an interesting journey. And so we kind of kept in touch after that. Um, I think first time I met him in person was at a uh Florida Healthcare Association conference. Um, and uh no, he's just got a lot of life, a lot of energy, and he calls me the bijou.
SPEAKER_04:So the bijou. I love that so much. I feel like I need to now join this association because I'm not sure about the qualifications, but I'll bring I'll bring snacks. That's what I can promise. I feel like that's all I need to really do. So I um I met Norman again. I was gonna make like a weird like only hand joke, but I'll digress. Oh, it's not true, it's not true, it's not true. I'm just gonna go, I know. Um, it was also LinkedIn. And I have never truly picked his brain as to how he found me, but he did. And I am a brand ambassador and a devout team member to a particular organization here locally. And I have just committed my life to living out loud and sharing the hard things about my life because again, people can look at me and assume a lot of things. And when I say, no, no, no, I've been divorced more than I want to tell you as many times. I've had multiple children. I used to weigh 350 pounds. I struggle with self-identity, imposter syndrome, all the things. And when I say that that's me, then someone else feels safe to say, Well, me, me too, me too. And then we can connect and we can network and we can talk about it. So somehow he found me and he was messaging, he was like, Hey, you look a little crazy and a little fun. I'm like, you got it right. He was like, What do you think about coming on a podcast with me? So I was I was honored to be able to be on a podcast of his. Um, and then somehow here I am with cute shoes and with the most two beautiful women that I can honestly say I've ever met. And I am just so incredibly thankful for this opportunity, for this space, for your journeys, for your wisdom, for your vulnerability.
SPEAKER_01:Um at Comfort Measures Consulting, we're here to help you navigate the complexity of health care. If you're caring for a loved one as a caregiver, you don't have resources, you don't know what questions to ask, you need to have options, right? Give Comfort Measures a call. Give us a chance. First consultation is free. Speak with me. Comfort Measures Consultant. 850-879-2182. You can also visit our website at www.comfortmeasures consultant.com. Talk to you soon.
SPEAKER_04:And this is probably gonna be the hardest question you have to answer. Maybe. I don't know. Are you proud of yourself?
SPEAKER_02:Shall I start? Yeah. Let's go. I think that's an interesting question. Um, and I think that it's something that I've had to work on over the years. Um, I I would say that I um I grew up with uh parents that you know expected a lot from us. And um it wasn't acceptable to be prideful. Um and it was always kind of the mindset of how can you do more? How can you be better? How can you, you know, it was it was always it was that that's how I was raised. And there are there are positives in that, right? Like there are positives in that because it pushes you, it pushes you to be strong and it pushes you to not just rest on your laurels and say, okay, everything is, you know, good and I'm, you know, I got it made. It's like you're always looking for what next. But for me, it also is something that, you know, it it can be a negative when you don't, when you don't stop and like appreciate the good things, right? And you don't appreciate what your accomplishments are. And when I was younger, I definitely struggled with that. Um, I would accomplish something huge, and then it was almost like this huge like let down because all that adrenaline is gone, right? What can you do better? And I go, okay, I did that and it's over, and now what do I do? And so then it would have to be finding a new goal and finding a new challenge and that kind of thing. And so now I consciously try to stop and go, You did good kid. Good job. You know, and it's something that, you know, I'm trying to instill in my kids as well, because I have that, you know, that that mindset and that mentality from my upbringing and just from the way that, you know, that I was um that I was raised, uh, that, you know, the next thing I I don't stop often enough to say, that was great. Good job. You know what I mean? So, but yeah, so I would say yes, I am proud of myself.
SPEAKER_05:Um proud of you for saying that.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you. Uh, but but it's it's something that I do have to consciously, you know, kind of step back into and and remind myself that you know it's okay to give yourself props, and and it's actually a good thing. You should give yourself props.
SPEAKER_03:So absolutely. But that explains the sex success of you and your siblings, because I mean, all of you guys are just incredibly successful.
SPEAKER_04:Well, I don't know about your siblings, but next next podcast.
SPEAKER_03:I'm just saying that makes a lot of sense. Yeah. You know, where I, on the other hand, was raised by a mom, and I mean, until I was 13, I was an only child, and there was nothing I couldn't do in the world that I wanted to do. I mean, because my mom was gonna support me and you know, so so. So there's there's that. Um I proud of myself. Um I am, I I am extremely proud of myself. And it's it's interesting because something so stupid and simple. Um last weekend I drove out to UCF and met my daughter at her apartment, and I spent the day with her shopping, and I was leaving her. Um she was um her roommates weren't there, so it was just my daughter and myself, and she's 19. And um I started crying coming downstairs, and I thought, what am I crying for? I have raised five beautiful children that are all in their own way highly successful. I have a daughter that's 19 that's in an apartment with a brand new car, and I can take care of it and I can provide that for her. Why am I crying? Because I'm proud of myself. And I think it was the first time I really stopped to think I gave that to her, that I was able. Because had I been able to do that at 23, not a chance. No, you know, and it's funny now because my boys are in their 30s and they're like, well, we didn't have that. Well, you know, different life, different time.
SPEAKER_04:Sorry about your luck.
SPEAKER_03:Um, but but I am blessed, and I am uh so I I I stand now and I um, like I said, I've mentioned I'm married to my high school sweetheart, the love of my life. I have five beautiful children, and I am living in the house of my dreams, and I am blessed to have the job for a man that I am so blessed to know and to work with. So everything that I've done up to this point has led me to this time in my life. That am I proud? Yeah. I'm proud of my career, I'm proud of my marriage, I'm proud of my children, I'm I'm proud of many years later. I mean, I'm almost and and I'm proud that after that many years, I'm still standing and I am in a place that if anybody looked at me through a a you know, a mound and a fine glass or whatever, I can say I've done right. Yeah. So am I proud?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Well, I need you both to know that I am proud of you. And I am so proud of you. And you make me proud, both of you, to be a woman. And I mean that from the absolute bottom of my heart. So before I start crying like an absolute idiot, I think our time is up. I am so thankful for both of you again, if I haven't said it enough, um, for sharing your journey, your your experience, your upbringing, your your challenges, your um cultural sensitivities and the things that that made that made your life different, because that's what we need. We need women to start speaking up and to start speaking about their challenges and their journeys because my daughter needs you, and my daughter needs you. And I'm so thankful for both of you. We have gotten very deep here today, ladies, and again, I'm so thankful. However, I would love to close this off with a different question. I would love to know what you think is the one thing that you could do, say, be, or change that would make a positive impact on society. We'll start with you, Biju. Start with me. She looks like she's thinking.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Um, I think that the world would be a much better place with more empathy. Um, and I think that um made me cry again. Don't cry, stop it. Because then if you cry, then I'll cry. It's a whole thing.
SPEAKER_04:It's a whole thing.
SPEAKER_02:All right, I'll hold it together.
SPEAKER_04:I'm sorry, go ahead.
SPEAKER_02:I I really try to uh put myself in the other person's shoes. And I also try to understand uh the perspective that someone else is coming from. Um and you know, I think empathy is something that is extremely, extremely important and it helps us stop crying. Don't do it. Don't look at me but it but it certainly it definitely is one of the most important things. You know, you can get upset with someone for behaving a certain way, you can get angry um and you can lash out. But if you stop a lot of times and and try to really see things from the other person's perspective or understand the journey that they've been through, it helps you understand um, you know, uh who they are today or why they're behaving the way that they are behaving and allows you to kind of um you know just accept that they are who they are, yeah. Right. Um and and it kind of takes away that sting and that negativity. Um and the world and society and the business world would be a much better place, I think, with with more empathy, with more putting yourself in other people's issues.
SPEAKER_04:It humanizes all of it.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, which all goes back to treat others as you would like to be treated. I think that's that's the route to everything. I mean, if you want to be treated kindly, then treat people with kindness and and it will be reciprocated. I think that's you know a world changer.
SPEAKER_04:I agree. So, what besides empathy? Because she already took the answer. Sorry, sister, you're not gonna be able to use it.
SPEAKER_03:Empathy treating people the way you're no ma'am, there are rules here.
SPEAKER_04:I'm the moderator. What would you say would be something that could help make society just a little bit of a better place to live in? Okay, besides what behaviors are. That's my goodness.
SPEAKER_03:We're gonna go deep. I mean, that's just grape juice. But if we want to go deep, I think one thing that would change the world is to allow our social system to be a short-term support system, not a forever crutch. Don't don't give them a wheelchair or scooter, give them a crutch to get them stronger and make them become stronger in themselves instead of supporting them and their weaknesses forever. If and I know that's not that's deep, but no, that's really I think that that these systems that we've put in place were put in place for a short time to help you get your education, to help you medically get stronger. It's not to be forever on on that that journey or to think that that's your your life's work is to ride that and by firmly being somebody who's been there and done that because and and I used it for what it was created to do. I used it to, as I said, get up and dust myself off and educate myself to support my children, not to expect society to do it for me.
SPEAKER_04:Amen. So I I was another Medicaid, Pell Grant, food stamp recipient. And had the government allowed me to continue doing it, it would have allowed me to accept that as my life. Right. And instead, the purpose is to give you foundation to build a better you. And I I in the empathy part, I'm not gonna look at you. I'm not gonna cry again. Between the two of those. Yep. I think we could absolutely create a stronger world. So anyway, I am again so thankful for both of you to be here and thankful you're sharing all of your stories, your insight. This is not an easy place to be, uh, exposing yourself like this, but it is what it is. And and I promise you, my daughter will be tuning in for sure. So that's all we have for you today. I appreciate you so much for joining in and for being a part of uh the first annual, but not to be the last annual, CMC Media and Advocacy Women Panel. I'm Jennifer Eddings. Thank you so much.
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